buy two, get one free...

so I got a couple of complete idiots I just cant let slide so here goes.

story one..

Earlier this afternoon I had a gentleman on one of the computers here browsing what appeared to be a news site things were fine till he asked for help (and by god he needs it)
Him: "excuse me can you help me, there appears to be no sound"

I then walk up to the computer, the first thing I'm thinking is that he hasn't got the volume up on the headset, i get to his station..

Me: "Umm you might wanna try these...." (As I Hand him the headphones)
Him: "Oh right, those might help, where were they?"

I didn't answer his question, I just walked away, head hung low wishing for a swift death..
Now any normal person would see the headset and put 2 an 2 together. this guy, who the hell knows

story two...

now this one actually takes place outside of the store, and these ones are usually the funniest and dumbest ones you get.

So I was sitting with the boss out the front of the store, having a coffee and chatting when we hear a thud thud thud, we look out the window to see someone trying to open the door and failing hard. Again, thud thud thud, now this goes on for another 20 seconds or so. I just sit there watching as the guy gives up and walks away defeated by a sliding door, 2 minutes later hes back in front of the door, the boss and I were waiting for a thud, but It didn't happen. He managed to slide the door open about 4 inches and then closed the door and walked away for good.

Now you might be thinking "maybe you should sign post ya door"
Well we do, it says "slide" in large lettering,it also has a large arrow on it.
Even still those two things don't help, and believe me when I tell you this happens on a daily basis, you might think "well maybe you should have it in different languages" well yeah it should be, but I was of the impression that an arrow was universal? but that's just me. Ohh I know what will help, well have the sign translated into idiot, the customers are bound to see it then, right ?? Oh that's right they cant read either, so why then do we even have a sign ?

story three...

Now this fucker, fffffff this shit makes me rage so bad
this Russian bird rocks in to use a machine (she old and fugly as well)
so I put her on a machine close to me because I just know shes gonna give me trouble, and oh boy does she what.
First of all she hands me a CD and asks me to send the pictures to her, i flatly refuse and hand the disc back to her and try telling her in my best possible Russian accent that the machines have CD ROMS and she can access the pics from there herself.

Now I didn't do the accent to mock her (though that would be funny) but to actually try and communicate with her as her English is fucken terrible and every second word out of her is always "da".
From my experience if you cant speak the same language doing there accent actually helps them to understand you as it is how they would sound there words when they try speaking English.

Anyway back to the rage... I put this crazy on a machine she, by some miracle of god manages to find her pictures and proceeds to open every single pic at least 3 times (yeah i don't know why either) then she asks for help on sending them to her email, I told her she needs to open her email and start a new e-mail, she just stares at me with that blank expression a lot of customers give.
By this stage i was really fuming as every time she comes she expects me to drop everything and do her stuff for her, well sorry baby but I aint your servant.
she managed to get into her e-mail (another miracle) and then asks me how to send the pics, I go over and tell her I'm only showing her once how to do it (this was probably the fifth time Ive done this for her in total) so I show, her and walk away less than 10 seconds later shes yelling "its no work, no work"
upon returning to her i see her spamming the "attach" button as its already trying to upload a single pic, i try explaining she can only upload one pic at a time and she has to wait for each pic to finish before the next one can be uploaded, she nods and then continues to spam the "attach" button again, so I just walked away raging and wondering why, just why...