The kids are our future...

so been a while, and long while in fact, since my last post, my place of employment has relocated, like 10+ meters up the road... doesn't sound like much but its a much better place, it has a great harbour view and is like 3 times bigger than the previous store, but enough about the good stuff lets get into the shit fest that is the morons that frequent the establishment.....

so yea I've had a few morons in and out since the last post, but nothing that has made me go fuck this shit, this is going on the blog, i attribute this to the fact that most of the truly dumb fucks still haven't found the new store, lets hope it stays like that... anyway, last night, was the first night that I've gone oh fuck that is going right on the blog so lets get into it.

so were told, the kids are our future, our future leaders and decision makers, the ones that will run the country some day, the ones that will help make our world a better place for all, i was in that position many, many moons ago, and instead of doing something grand, i chose well this. but you know id like to believe all that about this new generation of kids, i really would, but if last night was anything to go off of, well all i can say is, were fucked...

so this kid calls me about an upcoming yugioh tournament were running in the school holidays, im not gonna name this child cause i simply cant be fucken bothered, he'll be SC (small child), so it goes a little like this...

me: welcome to the ******* ***** speaking.
SC: you know the ygo (yugioh) tournament on Wednesday
(and yes he jumped right to the question didn't say hello or even give his name, fucker assumes I'm a mind reader...well hes right i fucken am!! (not really))
Me: yea, what about it mate?
SC: it says on the forums that its 5d's format but Saturday was meant to be the last 5d's tournament what format is it going to be is it 5d's or not?
(seriously he didnt even pause once)
Me: check the forums, it says advanced.
(i know this cause the little shit asked the same question on Saturday and i gave him the same fucken answer like 3 times!!!)
SC: i did it says 5d's..
Me: ohh??? so if i go on the forums its gonna say 5d's huh (if ya wondering what 5d's means don't worry about it, it only means shit to ygo players, and if ya play ygo you know wtf it means anyways, so anyways i get on the forums and triple quadrupole check the format, and yes it was advanced)
Me: well will ya look at that, it says advanced constructed deck, no 5d's anywhere
SC: oh......
Me: you didn't even go to the forums did you?
SC: yea i did
Me: oh??? then how did you not see this, you just didn't even check did you, you just couldn't be bothered checking it could you!! you didn't even read it did you!!
SC: no.......
Me: well now you know, again, its advanced...
SC: OK than-

and that was that, i hung up on the little fucker, how fucken lazy and dumb can you be, ya told multiple times in one day, you have the means to find out the information yourself, and yet ya do nothing and waste someone Else's time, ffs if these little fuckers are our future, its looking fucken bleak

Just singing in the rain

Just when I thought things couldn't get any dumber i look outside and across the street I see some guy cleaning glass, on its own that's not news but i should mention its 9:40pm and its raining, and the glass is on the outside of the building.

yeah its that stupid...

Ive even got a video of the guy cleaning and while the quality ain't that great you can tell whats going on.
I was also gonna do some commentary about it for the video but i was like fuck this is so stupid I'm lost for words, i could say something, i should say something but dammm

video to come....

I must have a lisp or a stutter ?

get this......

How long are you open for

25 more minutes

great!, Ill get half an hour!

???????

seriously, wtf.

-edit

and so he ends up being on for 15 minutes......FFFFFFFFFUUU

I wouldn't be so rude if you werent so fucken stupid

so the old prune that just bought the halo figure back, just called me, and had a hissy about my attitude apparently i was very rude and had assumed wrongly that he had played with the figure, the truth was that i asked if he had played with it, not assumed, in this business I've learned never to assume anything. Also if i was trying to make a good customer base i was going about it the wrong way. She also mentioned that she would never be back. To that i was very calm and and accepted everything she had said and asked if there was anything else, and boy did that stump her, told her i appreciated her calling and that i would pass along her comments to the boss. she stammered for a bit before i said thank you for calling and hung up the phone.
I called the boss and told him what she said, he said that they must think were fucken stupid or something and sighed.. and that was the end of that issue.

now contrary to what i post here and how i phrase things, my thoughts and opinions are all personal, never vocalized, i work in a customer service environment, i cant afford to vocalize my opinions, and when ever a customer approaches me for help assistance or a purchase I'm always, always very pleasant to them, i mean its cash in hand for us right, but if this old prune wants to get all hissy because she was in a hurry and i wouldn't do what she wanted at her pace then she can go elsewhere, we don't need a customer like that.

- they must think were as stupid as they are

collectable action figure, not a toy

so i told this story to a friend of mine real quick, figured id better have it on here as well



just had sum dried old prune come in complaining about halo figure her kid bought
said the arm joint broke
she was in a big hurry and all that right and I'm trying to explain that i cant make the decision on if she gets a refund or swaps the item
so i tell her ill have to call the boss and shes all blah blah blah hurry up baby at home
naturally i put on my care face and hat and cast a level 12 don't give a fuck spell

then she was all well can you call who's in charge then, I'm sitting here with a cocked eyebrow and tell her that's what I've been trying to do while you've been talking (complaining).

she didn't like that
and she must have thought id taken my care face off cause she tried to go on about it again but i was on the phone with the boss at that stage
in the end she got a replacement and i told them they're not toys and not meant to be played with like a normal toy they're collectibles
they were all yeah we know that, and i was like yeah but does HE know that and they're like yes he collects them, and said yea but does he play with them ?
cause this new one is fine i can see how the joints are, if this one goes bad we aren't replacing it
they didn't like that so i had explain that if he breaks it there's no refund it was his fault
they took the fucken toy (collectible action figure) and fucked off


- i put on my care face and hat and cast a level 12 don't give a fuck spell

and the stupid just keeps on coming

so lets get into it real quick

moron: "theres no sound on my machine"
me: "really ? have u tried turning the volume up?"
moron: "of course, still nothing"
me: "really ? you sure about that ?"
moron: "yes of course"
i just look at the idiot with a cocked eye
me: "yea you need to go back down and turn the volume up"
moron: "i already have"
so i get up and walk down, get to the headphones and turn the volume up
me: "yeah you didnt even check the volume did you"
and then i just walk the fuck away, dumb fucker he was.

fucken south Americans man, Brazilians, to be exact, dumb fucks
moron: "I pay for two machine"
me: "you mean both machines"
moron: "no, 2 machines"
me: "yea.... both machines"
moron: "no 2 machine"
me: "yeah na you don't say 2 machine, you say both machines"
moron: "2 machine"
me: "yeah BOTH MACHINES"
I take his money and shoo the dumb fucker out, him and his dumb fuck friend leave the door WIDE OPEN so i lean over and say
"dont worry guys the door closes itself"
they just look blank like wtf is he talking about.....fucken morons man.



stupidity is like the energizer bunny, its just keeps going and going and going and going ......

EPIC!!

So last night I got to see my favorite band in the entire world, Faith No More, and to describe the concert in one word, EPIC.
The played all of there hits and one very special Kiwi classic, crowded house's Don't dream its over



that there is part of the first time they played it (of which they played it 3 times) and this is the second time, this one is of better quality and length



I can now honestly die happy after seeing these guys live, 12 years ago i missed the chance to see them play here and consequently not long after there concert here they broke up. So for me too see them after such along time, well fuck words cant describe the massive joy I felt, it was just simply, EPIC

full house, I win ?

So its Saturday, I'm at work, out the front and its packed, and its been that way for well over an hour now. Which is great for business, but not so great for my sanity.
However in saying that, the stupidity level has been pretty low so far, until my most recent customer.

So this woman and her partner come into use a machine, that's fine I put her on one of the few free machines i have, which coincidentally happens to be the machine right in front of me...
She was on for a few minutes before asking for some help.

Her: "Excuse me could you help me, I cant seem to access my gmail"
Me: "Sure, what exactly seems to be wrong ?"
Her: "Well I logged in, and normally on my laptop it takes me straight to my in-box, it doesn't seem to have done that"
Me: "Have you tried clicking inbox?"

Now by this stage I'm staring at her monitor frowning, she wasn't even close to having gmail on her screen, she did however have Google earth on it.

Me: "Yea I'm not surprised you can't access your mail, you have Google earth going and not the web browser"
Her: "Oh that was already open from when I got on the machine"
Me: "????? sure..."
Her: "I'm just used to using my mac at home"
Me: "Well there's ya problem right there"

She didn't appreciate that comment, but then I don't appreciate being lied to and having my time wasted, so i guess were even on that one.

buy two, get one free...

so I got a couple of complete idiots I just cant let slide so here goes.

story one..

Earlier this afternoon I had a gentleman on one of the computers here browsing what appeared to be a news site things were fine till he asked for help (and by god he needs it)
Him: "excuse me can you help me, there appears to be no sound"

I then walk up to the computer, the first thing I'm thinking is that he hasn't got the volume up on the headset, i get to his station..

Me: "Umm you might wanna try these...." (As I Hand him the headphones)
Him: "Oh right, those might help, where were they?"

I didn't answer his question, I just walked away, head hung low wishing for a swift death..
Now any normal person would see the headset and put 2 an 2 together. this guy, who the hell knows

story two...

now this one actually takes place outside of the store, and these ones are usually the funniest and dumbest ones you get.

So I was sitting with the boss out the front of the store, having a coffee and chatting when we hear a thud thud thud, we look out the window to see someone trying to open the door and failing hard. Again, thud thud thud, now this goes on for another 20 seconds or so. I just sit there watching as the guy gives up and walks away defeated by a sliding door, 2 minutes later hes back in front of the door, the boss and I were waiting for a thud, but It didn't happen. He managed to slide the door open about 4 inches and then closed the door and walked away for good.

Now you might be thinking "maybe you should sign post ya door"
Well we do, it says "slide" in large lettering,it also has a large arrow on it.
Even still those two things don't help, and believe me when I tell you this happens on a daily basis, you might think "well maybe you should have it in different languages" well yeah it should be, but I was of the impression that an arrow was universal? but that's just me. Ohh I know what will help, well have the sign translated into idiot, the customers are bound to see it then, right ?? Oh that's right they cant read either, so why then do we even have a sign ?

story three...

Now this fucker, fffffff this shit makes me rage so bad
this Russian bird rocks in to use a machine (she old and fugly as well)
so I put her on a machine close to me because I just know shes gonna give me trouble, and oh boy does she what.
First of all she hands me a CD and asks me to send the pictures to her, i flatly refuse and hand the disc back to her and try telling her in my best possible Russian accent that the machines have CD ROMS and she can access the pics from there herself.

Now I didn't do the accent to mock her (though that would be funny) but to actually try and communicate with her as her English is fucken terrible and every second word out of her is always "da".
From my experience if you cant speak the same language doing there accent actually helps them to understand you as it is how they would sound there words when they try speaking English.

Anyway back to the rage... I put this crazy on a machine she, by some miracle of god manages to find her pictures and proceeds to open every single pic at least 3 times (yeah i don't know why either) then she asks for help on sending them to her email, I told her she needs to open her email and start a new e-mail, she just stares at me with that blank expression a lot of customers give.
By this stage i was really fuming as every time she comes she expects me to drop everything and do her stuff for her, well sorry baby but I aint your servant.
she managed to get into her e-mail (another miracle) and then asks me how to send the pics, I go over and tell her I'm only showing her once how to do it (this was probably the fifth time Ive done this for her in total) so I show, her and walk away less than 10 seconds later shes yelling "its no work, no work"
upon returning to her i see her spamming the "attach" button as its already trying to upload a single pic, i try explaining she can only upload one pic at a time and she has to wait for each pic to finish before the next one can be uploaded, she nods and then continues to spam the "attach" button again, so I just walked away raging and wondering why, just why...

Big jobs

This weekends a long weekend.
I have to work all this weekend doing magic/yugioh tournaments.
This does not make me happy.
Next weekend i have to repeat the process.
The only consolation i get from this is that I wont have to deal with the idiots out the front....... till I start out the front.....

But I suppose you get that on the big jobs...

Happy new year.....

so its a few days after new year, I've had a few days off, but started back at work yesterday and for the most part its been fine, no idiots, until today.... also it is a Monday, not that stupidity has a certain day of the week in which its high, but well i guess you could call it Monday-itus (SPELLING!!!) anyway a customer comes up to the counter, well a customers friend I believe, she asks for help, the friend cant view her photos from her USB stick, so of course being my job an all, I go up to help.

Her: "can you help, there's no photos"
Me: "ill see what i can do"
she shows me the computer and the pc picks up the stick, she double clicks on the icon and it says there's no device. Finding that strange i take the USB stick and inspect it, doesn't take much to realize its actually a USB card reader, i hand the thing back.
Me: "yea, you cant look at ya pictures, this is a card reader, not ya USB stick"
she looks at me with that stupid puzzled look a lot of the customers get...
Her: "No no its a memory stick, i know this"
Me: "No its a card reader, you see this slot on the side you need to put ya camera card in there to view ya pics"
she just looks at me as if i blew her mind, I walk away..... ya happy new year

"can't you see I'm wearing my "Cant Stand Idiots" shirt today"
- Me